(Doctor Who) I Get Lost


every house not a home

but dare do i roam

(no subject)
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
Things I have done within the past 24 hours include but are not limited to:

  1. Driving to St. Louis
  2. Going to the City Museum, arrive at 4:00 pm.
  3. Conquering EVERYTHING, including highest heights and lowest caves.  Also roasting marshmallows and playing in the ball pit.  Also going down about 10 slides!  Also AWESOME.  Get really sore, depart at midnight.
  4. Arrive at Coffee Cartel, depart StL Metro around 1:30 am.
  5. Fall asleep, briefly awake when we stop at a rest stop, sleep at rest stop for another hour.
  6. Eat at The Diner.  Stay for just over an hour, depart at 5:30 am.
  7. Arrive Home just before 8:00 am
  8. Drink Tea, take painkillers.
  9. SLEEP.

That is all.

Type Fast: The Paper Countdown.
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
9:13 PM
headcount: 16 students in lab
pages to go: 3

I have to have a paper e-mailed to my Writing Workshop teacher by Midnight tonight. Not only am I fighting the clock, I'm fighting the crash that I'm sure is coming: I only got four and a half hours of sleep last night and I have been pounding caffeine all day to stay awake.

The good news? If I can stay awake tonight, I can sleep in all morning! The workshop I had to be at at 9:15 every Monday is over for the semester! And? I got a new iPod that doesn't have insomnia and does have an awesome battery life. I can block out the chatter!

headcount: 11
pages to go: 2.5

The lab is ridiculously hot. The computer is a total putz.

headcount: 10
pages to go: 2

Cristal is in the corner reading the notes she passed in middle school. Ben keeps asking Joe for help all the time. Joe usually tells Ben what he needs to do, and when ben asks how Joe how he tells Ben to figure it out for himself. We opened the lab door to get some air circulation going, but now we can hear the people watching season 4 of the Simple Life in the TV lounge. They are super loud.

headcount: 9
pages to go: 1

I just got tea in my sinuses because there was just a little to much to take in one mouthful and I decided to try to suck it down anyway. TV lounge is still loud, but the lab is a much nicer temperature. It is a good night for acoustic guitars.

headcount: Still 9!
pages to go: 0

I got to the page minimum with just enough time to attach it and e-mail it off. Because I'm a good person (and I've hit what is probably my 5th wind) I am going to form a logical concluding paragraph and send it off to be included whenever I'm done with it. I figured it wasn't worth it to attach crap to the original e-mail, and I had hit minimums anyway. Hello waste of everyone's time.

Shane just came in and told Ben his digital lab project was American because he has beef exploding out of his head.

headcount: 8
pages to go: extreme 0

I'm really done this time. I've quit word. As cozy as the lab is with it's dim lights, hot temperatures (now with bonus cool breezes) and pleasant company, I think I am going to retire next door to the studio. The company therein will also be choice, and I can make a cozy for my iPod. It's going to be precious, there might be pictures.

Victory is ourn and a good night's sleep is emanate.

Three Awesome Weekends: Weekend One
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
Friday the 9th: Decompression with Megan, Jessica, Allegra, Carolyn and Me.

Five awesome people walk in to a hookah bar. They do not walk out until three hours later. Groovy and relaxing times were had by all.

An interesting conversation: A tiny girl in huge heals starts talking to me while I am washing my hands. "You've done this before, right?" she says, "Is this like pot? How hard is this going to hit me?" I am alarmed.

"It's just relaxing," I say, "It won't really hit you at all, you'll just feel chill." I feel like chill is a word she might understand. It only occurs to me later that sense she is tiny, and has never done this before she might feel a little queasy, as was the problem with Jessica. I wonder if she ended up getting sick and was upset I didn't warn her.

Saturday the 10th: Dance The Night Away with Ellen, Jessica, Allegra and Me. Special appearances by Our Friends from UMKC.

In the afternoon I am at the park with some friends. I say to them, "I feel like I could handle having a job right now." On our way home we stop at Muddie's to get coffee. They have a help wanted sign in the window.

Allegra and I plain to watch the sunrise. We consult the weather channel to see when that might be accomplished. We go do a dance party at a loft downtown and remain there for several hours. Copious amounts of alcohol are imbibed by pretty much everyone but me and Ellen. I feel ridiculously swank. (Loft party. Downtown. Full of fashionistas and scene persons. Exposed brick and I-beams. Studio space full of random stuff. People dancing so hard you can see the ceiling moving.)

We return home when we are too tired to dance any longer, but are too wired to consider sleeping and instead go sit outside on the smoker's deck. We meet four awesome people from UMKC who were randomly wandering around our green, proceeded to talk to them for two hours. The are theater type students. I am delighted. We go to Chubby's together because we are hungry. Everyone has a thrilling time even though they are out of mac'n'cheese wedges, and we return home at 4:30 AM. In an attempt to stay awake to watch the sunrise Allegra and I watch Doctor Who. We fall asleep and wake up an hour later to find that it has become ridiculously overcast, and any attempts to watch the sunrise will be thwarted by thick cloud cover. We instead go to bed.

Sunday the 11th: Where is my Face? with Elane, Clarice, Michelle, and Me. Guest Artists Regina Spektor and Only Son.

I wake up in time to take a shower, eat dinner and done concert-going attire. I stand in The Longest Line I Have Ever Stood In (For A Concert). We get completely awesome spots. Only Son is adorable. He has a Beverage plain. (Tea time now, whiskey time later) He has dreams where his sugar does not have high enough resolution to sweeten his coffee. He finally beats Darth Vader. He has an iPod band with an inferiority complex. They talk it out.

Regina is altogether awesome. She wears a shiny pewter dress and rolls off her lipstick on her coffee cup. She bangs chairs for percussion and rocks out on her teal guitar. She has amazing lights and everything feels like stars. Going "UH" with your whole body is one of the most cathartic experiences ever. She is right: I would of regretted it in the morning if I hadn't.

We feel too amazing to go home, so we pick up CJ and drive around Mission Hills and look at the big houses and speculate about life.

Before i go to bed I fill out an application. I skip Wood Shop the next morning so I can turn it in in person.

(no subject)
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
Weeks Sense Last Update: 27.
How I feel about that: OK.

College is like home but with less time on the internet.

The only lights on in the cafeteria at night are the ones over by the cereal dispensers. When I go out on the deck after studio closes to smoke my last cigarette, I can always see the cereal. It is the only thing in the caf I can see, and for some reason every time I see it I get an intense craving for Cinnamon Toast Crunch with soy milk. Maybe I will get up before wood shop in the morning and have some. Maybe I'll sleep through morning wood shop and go after seminar and lunch instead. Maybe.

Everyone and their brother's cat is tripping recently. Ten people tripped acid together tonight. People have been doing acid and shrooms all over the place, it seems like. In one memorable case Jen and her boyfriend tripped nutmeg before going to tour some castle. (Hay, close your eyes and watch the fence blink!) I didn't even know we had a castle around here. I have no idea where the crap it came from or anything. It may or may not have had anything to do with Halloween.

Austin and I had a conversation about all the things we get done while other people trip. We talked about how when people come out on the deck all "Man, I was so fucked up last night, I saw the craziest shit!" we really want to say "Yeah, well while you were out of your brain we got loads of work done and hung out with some awesome people. While your were sitting watching the lights we were out enjoying life." but what we actually say is "Dude, awesome! Sounds like you had a good time."

I am so terrified of getting out of control that when I think I might even approach it I tend to retreat. This is why I'm ok with being DD.

This is how I enjoy life: Hands in, feet dirty, pockets full of useless trinkets and brain in overdrive.

(no subject)
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
I have had a pretty delightful past 24 hours.

Yesterday Lucy came in and we went to see The Seagull because her friend Ethan was in it (he played Konstantin), and much to my delight my friend Ali was also in it. It was ok, some of the direction occasionally left something to be desired, but the set was AWESOME. They had a rear projection screen they projected the backdrops on, but they also projected the same thing from the front and had hanging string partitions spaced regularly about a yard in front of the screen and also along the sides of the stage that caught the front projection and looked AWESOME. I was delighted.

Afterwards I saw my friend Brett, who was there with some guy I recognized but don't actually know, and Garrett who was there to see Ali (because they're practically engaged)with his brother, who's name starts with an S and isn't Vincent (and is especially not Svincent). We hung out with Garrett and not Svincent for an hour while they waited for Ali to get out of pictures, and then Lucy and I went out and lurked around and waited for Ethan who took FOREVER. We didn't end up leaving the theater until about midnight thirty.

Then the three of us went to two different Wal*Marts so Ethan could play claw machines, which he is quite good at, and then to Ethan's house where we ate strangely delicious health type food and Ethan reloaded his insulin pump. We awayed to Steak N Shake so we could have cheesy fries and milkshakes, and by the time Lucy and I got home it was almost 4:00 AM.

I had to get up and go to school this morning, fortunately it was just for one test and two hours of sleep isn't enough to mess up my hair so I didn't have to do anything when I woke up but toss on my uniform and make it out the door with a #2 pencil and a cup of coffee. After the test we had a class meeting to talk about end of senior year events, dress up day, retreat, shaving cream fight, project graduation, etc. NHS members had to stick around afterwards to help set up for the Fancy Fundraiser, but they fed us Einstein Brothers bagels and apple juice and we were out of there by 10:30 so that was OK. I got home around 11:00 and pretty much laid down on the couch slept till almost 5:00, although I did get up around 1:30 for long enough to say goodbye to Lucy before she left.

When I got up it was thundering something fierce so I went outside to investigate, to find that it was pouring rain in an awesome spring thunderstorm sort of way, but it was also sunny. So I played in the rain for about an hour and there was an awesome rainbow and I was SOAKED by the time mum made me come in for dinner.

And now I'm curled up on the glider outside with a quilt because the sun is setting and it's cooling off, but it still smells like rain, and my hair is still damp and smells earthy and is horribly curly and frizzy.

And I'm overwhelmingly content.

I've realized that sometimes you have to say things, even if you wish more people were listening.
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
Last night I went to Sarah's birthday party. It was freezing. We ate all kinds of pizzas and then went to Alex's house. I played ping-pong. There was a pinata. I made a new friend.

Some people just look to young to smoke. They look young in the first place and seeing them with a generic cigarette in their hand, between their lips just makes them look like the kids in the Dare "It's not cool to smoke you'll look like these dorks" propaganda. I almost feel like it would have looked less hilariously pathetic if the cigarettes had been something fancy, maybe with a dark wrapper.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't set my self up as so anti-smoking because sometimes I really wish I had a habit that was somewhat more destructive than leaving my things all over the floor. Sometimes I wish I had something to do with my mouth besides stick a pen cap or my cuticles in it. It is these times that I remind my self that the younger you start smoking the more likely you are to get lung cancer and tell my self I can at least wait until late in college.

Although I didn't realize it at the time, the all the cigarette smoke last night played havoc with my lungs. I woke up this morning with a wheeze and a cough.

I feel like it should be summer. When I got home from church it was in the upper forties. I put on a sun dress (over my turtleneck) and danced barefoot in the icy slush, leaking up between my toes and numbing my heals. The melting snow made rivers and canyons in the ice on the sidewalk, in the gutters, on the rooftops. Everything smelled fresh.

I have the essentially irresponsible mindset that usually goes with summer vacation. It's not even spring break yet. It's hardly halfway through February for Christ's sake, and I feel like I should be lying in a field with a few good friends and a pack of Jones. Midnights, wishing I wasn't about to move, or that we weren't about to go away to different schools (even if back then I was just going to a different high school, only halfway across a not to big city.)

And it would be such a perfect soundtrack for aforementioned laying in fields that it makes me want to cry.

(no subject)
(Doctor Who) I Get Lost
So, I am totally content right now.

My dad called and woke me up at about 10:30 because the trustee chair was coming over at 12:00 to fix the plug in my room, which exploded at some point yesterday. This meant I had to get not naked and pick up my room real quick. I did the last, then the first, which was a whole bunch easier. Because I was awake I made an awesome cup of tea, and an English muffin. For lunch I made apple and cheddar scrambled eggs, and then I made apple sauce with the rest of the apple. It was delicious. And a lot faster and easier than I thought it would be. And DELICIOUS.

And now I am sitting on the couch playing on my laptop and looking at the pretty Christmas tree. Wearing the camo skirt I made out of my camo pants and the ugly but oh so cozy sweater someone got me ages ago when I was into that sort of thing. My glasses are smugged but they have a red star, and my hair wants washing but it is RED at the ends. And it's 4:00 and the sun is shining and it's NICE.

And I'm unbelievably happy.


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